Facebook Put Me In Charge of Our Nations’ Nuclear Weapons

Patrick D. Chappelle
5 min readSep 23, 2021


I never dreamed that I would be granted so much power, but that’s exactly what Facebook has done, according to their recent banning of my account.

There was a story in the news the other day about Russian hackers (are there any other kind?) and I commented on the Washington Post link about the incident. This was my comment.

They banned me for the “crime” of inciting violence. I suppose if I were the President of the United States, that would be inciting violence. But I’m not, nor does my word have any effect on how our country responds to any attack against it. But, Facebook seems to think that either I wield that kind of power, or I have access to a nuclear arsenal. I can assure you all, I do not. Believe me, if I had control over nuclear weapons, I could think of a few places I’d rather use them on than Russia. But, it’s not about Russia, it’s not about nukes, it’s about Facebook.

You may think me paranoid, but I truly think that someone at Facebook has it out for me. I’ve been on Facebook for more than a decade, without incident (except one where I was banned for life from my old FB account after it had been hacked). Now, suddenly, I’m being banned left and right. Not convincing enough? How about this?

“Hate”. That was what they called my response to an article, that I can’t quite recall. How does my statement (however harsh) translate into hate speech? I’m a Black man! What, am I preaching hate about myself?

What about when a racist makes a racist statement and I call him out on it? That’s hate speech. Surely Facebook wouldn’t ban me for this?

Facebook called that “harassment and bullying”. But the racist who made the racist comment? Was he punished for his transgression? I doubt it. Still think I’m being paranoid?

Check out this gem.

Here, I’m forced to guess what my crime was because they didn’t bother to tell me which of their Commandments I broke. Of course, I’m guessing the same thing you’re probably thinking. It’s the last sentence. It’s not a threat, it’s an opinion. Does Facebook think that I was trying to encourage people to burn down Times Square?

Hey! Some random dude on the internet says we should burn it down! Let’s go!

Right. This one is ridiculous. Don’t worry, it gets better (or worse, depending on how you’re looking at it).

Yeah. Facebook thinks I’m ordering some rando on Facebook to start running over people. People who aren’t out of their fucking minds will read that and know that when I said “run them over”, I was speaking figuratively. Facebook thinks I’m trying to commit vehicular homicide. WTF Mark?

Now, this one takes us almost back to the beginning. Simply talking about what I had been previously banned for, got me banned from Facebook! How fucking insane is that? Once again they called it “hate speech”. Maybe an actual person read this one and took it personally that I spoke ill of their algorithm? But is it still an algorithm running things or is there an AI involved? I thought I read somewhere on Facebook that they’re now using an AI to monitor hate speech and bullying on their platform. I don’t know if this is true and right now, I’m high and too lazy to find out for myself. Right now, I am pissed at whoever or whatever keeps fucking with me for no apparent reason. Maybe they don’t like my politics? My sexuality? My race? All of the above?

No, I don’t believe it’s any of those things (though it certainly could be), but clearly, something is wrong at the House of Facebook. The way it stands now, you can’t use metaphors, figurative speech, or even slang, without the risk of getting banned. One of my friends related a story to me about a family member who quoted a line from a movie and she was put on a twenty-four-hour ban. Lately, when I post anything, I get anxious because I don’t know if I’ll say the wrong thing, or if Facebook is going to misconstrue what I’ve said. Sometimes I consider editing my comment, but most of the time, I just won’t bother. It’s like fucking walking on eggshells! Maybe getting banned isn’t such a bad thing? It’s causing me to have anxiety attacks, and I already have to take a ton of meds, including one for anxiety. I don’t need any more stress in my life, and Facebook is stressing me the fuck out.

While I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends in different parts of the country as well as the world, I also use it for business. My business probably doesn’t benefit from Facebook, but I have a client whose Facebook business account I manage. Getting banned every other month is preventing me from doing that job.

So, right now, I’m recalling the whole AI thing. There was an incident where Facebook's AI referred to Black men as “primates”. That means that there is an AI. Well, I think it’s obvious now that their AI is stupid. Or is it? I mean, their AI called Black men chimpanzees. Maybe it’s all Black people their platform is fucking with and not just me?

Who the fuck knows? But, I am quite tired of their bullshit.

I understand that it’s important to make sure everyone on Facebook has a pleasant experience. Really, I do. But if what’s happening to me is happening to others, then something is clearly wrong at FB HQ. Mafia Wars game requests notwithstanding, Facebook used to be a fun place. Once Donald Trump decided he would run for president, that all changed. It became toxic. Then the pandemic made it depressing. With this new AI running content moderation, Facebook is capping off the final touches of its demise. I say that because if something isn’t done to stop these pointless bans, it will cease to be fun for a lot of other people as well. Nobody wants to be where they’re not wanted.